Losing appetite

I smiled as I remembered when I read a facebook status of a friend of mine when she eventually had the chance to eat rice after several times. She was very excited and happy. At that time she was in her study abroad. I smiled, it is not because it was funny, but these days I realize that I have different response to that kind of situation. I am not that craze when I got the chance to eat rice, instead I have been losing my appetite to it as what happens to some other food.

 

During the course of my life (there was an awkward feeling when I wrote this), I have been loosing my appetite to some variety of crackers, instant noodles, durians, jackfruits, bakso (meatball soup), chocolate bar, fried, and now rice. In some extent, I feel similar situation starts happening for meat/poultry.

 

Facing this situation does not mean I stop eating them. I will give an example with durians. I used to like them very much (while now I consider it is just like other food). To show how I loved them, I will share a story.

 

Once, when I was in the second year of primary school, I asked my mother to buy durians. She refused it. Protesting her decision, I skipped my school that day. Predictably, instead of getting what I wanted, my mother got mad and punished me. She put me in a sack. Experiencing that punishment made me never skip my class ever since. However, it did not heal my desire to eat durians. Instead of asking my mother, I asked my father and it worked.

 

For years, when it came to the season, I could eat durians as many as they were served. But at one point, I decided to stop. Now, I just take reasonable portion --maybe one or two piece instead to have all pieces in one whole fruit--. There is a feeling within telling me that it is not good to eat more. The same situation also happened with other food I said before.

 

When I think about it, I feel it should be considered as a part freedom. I do not have any attachment to a particular type of food except the halaal status of the food. I also feel the best taste of food lies on the first bite. The delicacy will fade out by the next bites.

 

Contrary what I said before, there is one particular situation when I will 'break the rules', eating more than portion I think I should have, and it because there is another rule with higher level: not to wasting food. But, it would be another story.